"Cautiously Optimistic"

It's been a while since my last update - sorry about that. Life be lifeing, so let me give you a quick breakdown from October.:

• I got a raise at work, so that was pretty cool, and I've been working on some pretty amazing projects. Some of the projects I'm a part of could revolutionize the way that Cigna interacts with its customers, which honestly needs about a 40 year update. I have many feelings about this, but I'm just gonna keep them to myself - they are inside thoughts only!

• We had trick-or-treaters this year at our new house. We had a mix of families with little kids, teens, and mixed-generation families. I accidentally bought a random packet of toys that had these little whistles in them, and I had to apologize to the parents for that... won't be making that mistake again, haha!

• For Thanksgiving, we spent a few days in Georgia with some of my extended family. It had been a while since I had seen many of them, so it was great to catch up. I got to spend some time with my second cousins, who live in TN. They have grown so much - it made me really happy to see just how much energy, joy for life, and fun they were having with all this extended family.

  

  
  
  

• Additionally, while in Georgia, we went to one of my all-time favorite places: the Georgia Aquarium. Adrian and I just sat in front of the huge tank, silently watching the Whale Shark and the Manta Rays circle with the other fish. It was beautiful, as I remember, and so meditative. I could have stayed there and watched for hours.

  

Now that the personal update is out of the way, let's talk about what you really want to know: what is my asshole cancer up to these days? Well, the short version is she's dead, most likely.

Here's the longer version:

• I did 2 weeks of proton radiation therapy (5 total sessions) on the precise spot where we've been monitoring the growth.

  • Fun fact #1: They gave me another set of medical tattoos so that they could line up the lasers correctly every time. But because they only have one color of ink (black), they did have a bit of a hard time making sure that they were lined up with the right ones. I suggested that maybe they do like a little shape, like a heart or something. While met with laughs, it was not a viable option - after all, they are healthcare professionals, not tattoo artists. Plus, this is like a poke-and-stick tattoo, like they would do in prison, so anything more elaborate than a dot is not really a thing. hehe. Anywho, I ended up getting an extra tattoo on the top of my chest as an extra measure to make things line up correctly

  • Fun fact #2: for proton radiation therapy, part of the process you have to be immobilized for the length of time it takes to do the procedure- about 15 minutes or so. To accomplish this, they have to make a mold of your body in the exact position you'll be in for the treatment. In addition, they have to strap you in place. Felt like a weird straitjacket, but also weirdly comforting like a weighted blanket. Both relaxing and constrictive at the same time - I was able to fall asleep in the machine during the sessions.

• I completed another CT scan - my little bastard spot that we've monitoring has decreased after the radiation. As you would expect, you can also never be sure until the scan is completed. Thankfully, we did see a decrease in size, and after confirming with my Radiologist, it would appear that the bastard spot has transformed into scar tissue. This scar may be something I have for the rest of my life. The good thing about that is that there will always be something to measure against for the long term. The annoying part about it is that there will always be a mark that shows up on any scan I have in the future, which would cause an alarm for any doctor who doesn't know my history.

• My most recent molecular blood test shows that there are no free-roaming cancer cells. This is an excellent sign that no new cancer is developing. Combined with the CT scans, the blood tests support the view in the scans that no new spots are developing.

So what does all this mean? My oncology team is "cautiously optimistic" that I am in remission! Because my diagnosis is complex, remission in my case means that it's under control. I compare it to diabetes - when diabetes is controlled, you can go and live your life as you please. When diabetes is out of control, that's when the bad stuff happens (limb loss, etc.). My oncology team believes that my current treatment plan (Enhertu) is doing what it's designed to do - keep potential cancer growth from happening.

For the time being, I'll continue on my current treatment plan of infusion every three weeks with the goal of adding more time between infusions. This will allow me a longer time for healing between sessions. My symptoms are manageable, and what I can live with, so as of right now, there's no need to really change my plan. It would appear that infusion and immuotherapy will be part of my life for a long time - I'm not mad about it, but I won't lie that it is annoying.

Whew, this was a long update. I am still processing some of the information because my cancer is a complicated little bugger. But every day that I wake up, that is another day that I raise my middle finger to the cancer and tell it to fuck off.

Love you!

Olivia