Judy Perez, My Friend & an Inspiration

This absolutely gorgeous lady is Judy Perez and she holds one of the most special places in my heart. You see, Judy was a cancer warrior like me and she never let her cancer define her either. She was the madrina (or godmother) that every girl wishes she could have had and her legacy is alive and thriving in all the lives of the young women that she touched in her time here. I am one of them and as I reflect on my cancer story, I wish now more than ever that she was near. I know that she would have a kind word, and wisdom, and be standing by my side as we go through this difficult period. I'm getting a little ahead of myself but she's been on my mind a lot and with her birthday recently, I thought I should talk about what a special person she is to me. And how much I miss her!

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Judy and I met in 2010 when I was part of the Hispanic Women's Network of Texas Fort Worth Chapter's Latinas in Progress Program. She was assigned to be my mentor, someone I could talk to during the program, ask questions, and be guided by as I transitioned from high school to college. At this time, I was 16-17 and knew NOTHING. To be quite honest, I was a little intimidated by the caliber of women involved in the organization. This isn't to say I hadn't met or interacted with professional women, but never all at once in the same room and who all looked like me! All these educated, intelligent, bold, and generous women made me speechless, and still, to this day, I admire them and seek to one day be them. They were and are dedicated to community service and lifting up the next generation of leaders.

When I think back on that time of my life, these are the ladies that I see and I'm continually inspired by them!

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So back to Judy. When I met her I looked like this and she was an amazing career woman with so much experience. She was part of Toastmasters and had done tons of public speaking. I remember her leading many of the sessions during the Latinas in Progress series and EVERYONE knew her.

She was part of the hub and center of the organization. I was incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to be pulled into her orbit. Even after the series ended, she and I kept in touch. She would email me about events, find out if I was going, or sign me up for volunteer opportunities. She always kept tabs on my college career and even attended an event when I graduated. I went back and pulled a bunch of pictures. These are the memories of her and with her that I cherish.

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Unfortunately, Judy was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic and Liver Cancer in 2015. While we hadn't lost touch, I was moving forward with my life and my career. I met my husband and we were getting ready to be married. I would hear from her from time to time and while I didn't see her at too many events anymore, I remember her commenting on what the organization was doing.

During her cancer fight, Judy had this series called "Thoughts from the Chair", where she would write about her experience at MD Anderson or her thoughts about her wig collection; just anything and everything she was experiencing. She was never one to sugarcoat it but she also never had a bad attitude about her situation. One of her favorite hashtags was something to the effect of being blessed and grateful. I'm sure that she had difficult days but it never really felt like it. Her treatment was definitely difficult and grueling; I recall towards the end her needing longer and longer recovery periods.

One of the last times I saw her - and hugged her - was actually at my wedding in 2016. And I have this wonderful photo of us together that brings me so much joy. She LOVED a selfie opportunity! She had a really good time that weekend and I remember her cutting a rug with her husband on the dancefloor!

Judy passed away on September 10, 2019, one day after my birthday, from her cancer battle. I remember feeling like it was a giant rock suddenly dropped on my head. It was crushing to know that this beautiful and strong woman was just gone - in a poof.... I cried a lot that day.

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As I go through my cancer journey now, Judy has been on my mind a lot lately. I've been thinking about what she would say during these difficult times and her reminders to stay positive. I bet you she would have really connected with my mom and wanted to give her support as well.

I know that I could have called her at any time to ask a question about what I should be expecting during my first day of treatment and beyond. I wonder what her favorite chemo day snacks were and what was in her chemo bag. I would have asked her advice about wigs - she had the most fabulous collection and I think some of them even had names. I think I would have asked her about some of the not-so-fun side effects - like the acne, mouth sores, and rashes - and how she manages those types of things. I would ask her how she takes care of her skin and keep from getting burned in the Texas Summer.

But I think most of all, I would love to have my madrina to share the really hard days with. I know that she would be the one I could cry with. Even now as I go through this struggle, I picture her wrapping me up in a big blanket and just letting me weep. I know that I could tell her anything and she would understand deeply and more intimately than anyone else.

So yeah, I'm really missing Judy right now. I wish she was here to give her comfort and guidance. I know that she lives within my heart and her legacy lives on in all the young women she guided. I do still strive to follow in her footsteps and I guess that's part of the reason why I am writing this blog. She also inspired me to be a light for others and that is a hugely motivating factor for my openness about my cancer journey. She instilled that in me.

I'll just end this by saying this:

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Judy. I love you and miss you! I know you're watching over me and are interceding on my behalf. The next time I'm in the area, I'll be sure to stop by.

Talk again soon,

OLIVIA